Dreaming

Forgiving you this time would make me an idiot

I just wish the thought of being your idiot didn't still cross my mind

All I ever wanted to be for so long was for yours

You asked me one night 

What I wanted to be when I grew up

I was scared to tell you my answer

Bc my answer was simple

My answer was: yours 

My biggest dream I could dream was being worthy of the love you laid upon me

My biggest dream was to be yours 

Was.

It is no longer.

Bc we are no longer.

There is no we.

There is just me.

Alone bc you didn't want to be my biggest dream

You didn't want to wait until I grew up to be what I wanted

So you didn't.

Asking for forgiveness is asking me rearrange my dream for you

But how do I fall back into bliss and recreate my dream with her in it? 

Forgiving you would make me an idiot

And I don't want to be an idiot

And I don't want to be yours 

I'm falling back asleep

And waking up with a new dream